We're Gonna Make It

I was born and raised in a church. I was dedicated to the lord by my great grandpa  He was a pastor. Both sets of grandparents went to the same church as my family did.  I grew up in a church. I was born a few months after the church was started. I started in childcare and went to Sunday school each week and Wednesday night church. I memorized all the verses assigned to me. I could recite the books of the bible on command. I went to all the events thrown by the church. I grew up with the best Children’s Church teacher. EVER. I think that’s where I learned the most about God. Even as I grew and found the lessons childish, thinking I was too good for them. I learned so many lessons I wouldn’t realize the meaning of until years later. This woman, she showed all the children so much love - no matter how odd or difficult a child was. God’s love shined through her. That’s what I’ve held on to.  While I grew up thinking you can’t have sex before you’re married, you shouldn’t be...

  This has been such a powerful word for me – this year especially. When COVID hit, it felt like the whole world fell apart. I tried to not think about it. I was focused on October. I just had to get through 2020 to October and I would be okay. I could focus on myself, my family and our baby and we’d manage being stuck at home together.  All would be okay when we got to October.  AND I was wrong. God had other plans. I was depressed for months.  I could be excited for others AND still grieving.   My birthday was a week after we found no heartbeat. I was sad AND I was happy to be celebrating with friends.  I was distraught that I couldn’t celebrate my graduation how I wanted to AND I was relieved to have graduated after five long years of the most challenging semester of my life.  It sucked to be home AND I was thankful I didn’t have to get up to show my grief to the world each day at drop off/pickup.  I was sad I couldn’t go and hang out with...