“AND”

 

This has been such a powerful word for me – this year especially. When COVID hit, it felt like the whole world fell apart. I tried to not think about it. I was focused on October. I just had to get through 2020 to October and I would be okay. I could focus on myself, my family and our baby and we’d manage being stuck at home together.  All would be okay when we got to October. 

AND I was wrong. God had other plans. I was depressed for months. 

I could be excited for others AND still grieving.  

My birthday was a week after we found no heartbeat. I was sad AND I was happy to be celebrating with friends. 

I was distraught that I couldn’t celebrate my graduation how I wanted to AND I was relieved to have graduated after five long years of the most challenging semester of my life. 

It sucked to be home AND I was thankful I didn’t have to get up to show my grief to the world each day at drop off/pickup. 

I was sad I couldn’t go and hang out with friends AND I was thankful for all the time with my family.

One door opens AND so does another. 

I could go on. 

“AND” has changed my life. You are not one emotion or one feelings. You can feel two things at once. “OR” doesn’t have to restrict you.

The power of AND can change your view point. You can acknowledge all those messy feelings and not have to explain. You are allowed to feel two things at once and not be conflicted or guilty for not being able to chose one.